Free At Last

I did it, I canceled my gym pass. Why, you ask? Well, for starters, I haven't been in about 10 months. Yes, that is right, I have been paying 27.00 per month to have a gym pass in my purse. It isn't whether I actually go that is the driving force of my justification to keep the silly thing, but rather, holding on to the idea that I can go. And for that, I have continued to pay 27.00 per month. I always believe this week will be different. I have no idea why I feel that after teaching yoga 4 days a week, and trying to find the smallest amount of time to get my ever piling work done with Owen constantly asking me to play with him, that I will suddenly find 2 hours in my life to attend the gym (which is 30 minutes away, hence the 2 hours (no, I do not work out for 2 hours)).

So, I finally decided it was time to admit defeat. I am not going to use my gym pass. The freedom of ability to go must be taken away. This is how it went... Attempt 1: Dial number, listen to recorded message say, "if you are calling to cancel your membership, please call your local club". Hang up phone, open Internet to get number, pass through msn.com on my way to the number, read article, get up from computer make Owen lunch, forget all about gym pass. Attempt 2: Notice deduction on bank statement that allows me to call 24 hour Fitness "my gym". Open Internet, look up number, call number to make sure I still call the local club. Confirm what I already knew. Call local club... "hello, I would like to cancel my membership", "uh, uh, ok, uh, you need to talk to a manager but can you call back in 15 minutes". "uh, I guess". Hang up phone, forget all about gym pass an eternity of 15 minutes later. Attempt 3: Notice deduction on bank statement for the prison that I like to call the gym. Call local club..."hello, i would like to cancel my membership". "Uh, ok, you need to sign something, so you need to come in". "oh, that is weird". Immediately plan day to make it to the gym to win this battle titled "Do not let that girl out of her membership under any circumstances". Drive to gym with Owen, go in.."hi, I want to cancel my membership", "oh, ok, let me do that... ok, here is your receipt" "is there something for me to sign?" "no". "Owen, don't get a gym pass." "Mommy, why didn't you tell them that you don't want to ever go in there anymore".

The gym, or perhaps the idea of the gym, and I are no longer. I am a little lighter now than before. I realize now that the pass in the purse, and the monthly deduction are constant tortures to myself. Constant feelings of guilt that I chose to go to bed rather than get in an 11:00 pm workout. I am freed. Now I can replace the feelings of guilt and torture with the idea that I don't go to the gym because I can't. No other reason. Ahhhh, peace at last.