Good old Lily. She came, she taught, and she left.
About a month ago or so an uninvited robin came into my life This particular robin wasn’t the kind you normally see, you know, the kind that runs around on the grass looking for worms, nope, this was the crazy kind that continuously bashes into the window. Over and over and over again. All day long.
The first day, after the kids got home from school, I crazily announced to Owen that I was going to get a gun and shoot the bird. That seemed like a good idea until he marched over to Ivy and calmly said, “mom is going to shoot the bird”, and she started to cry her eyes out. Ok, I won’t shoot the bird …. yet.
Ivy must really have a knack for psychology as even at the young age of three, she realized that she needed to humanize the bird to protect it. It was its only chance. The bird was a she and we knew this because Ivy looked into her eyes and could tell. Not only was she a she but her name was Lily. As if it was a question, obviously I am not going to shoot the bird now! How could I shoot something with a name like Lily.
I tried everything. I put papers on the window to let her know that it was a window, I closed the curtains, I opened the curtains, I ran out the door flailing my arms and screaming at her, I sent the kids out to scare her away. After a few days, I finally admitted defeat. Lily was here to stay and to drive me crazy.
As time went on I was bothered less and less by her constantly bashing into the window. I decided she either had a nest nearby or thought that the bird in the window was the most beautiful bird she had ever seen.
After about 9 days, I was talking to Emilee about Lily and suddenly so many things became clear.
“I feel bad for Lily, she just sits there and bashes into the window all day long as though something may come from it. I watch her pick her little self up off the ground and do it again over and over. She is going to get hurt. I just wish she would understand and do something different.”
As the words rolled off my tongue I suddenly realized I was Bob , Lily was Dr. Leo Marvin, and the window was like a vacation to Lake Winnipesaukee. What was I thinking! Lily wasn’t here to drive me crazy, but to help me see my crazy. I am Lily, bashing into the window over and over and wanting something different. As I continued to therapy myself, I realized there are things I need to change about myself. Things will never be different if I just fly into the window all day long.
And with that, Lily came by a little less each day and after two weeks she was gone. Once I learned what she was here to teach (cause obviously that was what she was doing and the empty nest we found a few days ago had nothing to do with it), she had less use for the window. As I continued to make changes in my life, some big like acknowledging an unhealthy relationship in my life, some small like running to Lowe’s to buy a hose instead of constantly hating the hose that leaks and continuously coming in wet after watering the plants, Lily had less and less to show me and she moved on (or flew away and quietly died of a severe brain injury, I choose #1).
Who knew that the crazy bird that I wanted to shoot would move me forward when I am stuck and would remind me that opportunities to learn are where we choose to find them.
(Seriously, I should pay myself some good money for this therapy.)