Lily

Good old Lily.  She came, she taught, and she left. 

About a month ago or so an uninvited robin came into my life  This particular robin wasn’t the kind you normally see, you know, the kind that runs around on the grass looking for worms, nope, this was the crazy kind that continuously bashes into the window.  Over and over and over again.  All day long. 

The first day, after the kids got home from school, I crazily announced to Owen that I was going to get a gun and shoot the bird.  That seemed like a good idea until he marched over to Ivy and calmly said, “mom is going to shoot the bird”, and she started to cry her eyes out.  Ok, I won’t shoot the bird …. yet. 

Ivy must really have a knack for psychology as even at the young age of three, she realized that she needed to humanize the bird to protect it.  It was its only chance. The bird was a she and we knew this because Ivy looked into her eyes and could tell.  Not only was she a she but her name was Lily.   As if it was a question, obviously I am not going to shoot the bird now!  How could I shoot something with a name like Lily. 

I tried everything.  I put papers on the window to let her know that it was a window, I closed the curtains, I opened the curtains, I ran out the door flailing my arms and screaming at her, I sent the kids out to scare her away.  After a few days, I finally admitted defeat.  Lily was here to stay and to drive me crazy. 

As time went on I was bothered less and less by her constantly bashing into the window.  I decided she either had a nest nearby or thought that the bird in the window was the most beautiful bird she had ever seen. 

After about 9 days, I was talking to Emilee about Lily and suddenly so many things became clear. 

“I feel bad for Lily, she just sits there and bashes into the window all day long as though something may come from it.  I watch her pick her little self up off the ground and do it again over and over.  She is going to get hurt.   I just wish she would understand and do something different.”

As the words rolled off my tongue I suddenly realized I was Bob , Lily was Dr. Leo Marvin, and the window was like a vacation to Lake Winnipesaukee.  What was I thinking! Lily wasn’t here to drive me crazy, but to help me see my crazy.  I am Lily, bashing into the window over and over and wanting something different.  As I continued to therapy myself, I realized there are things I need to change about myself.  Things will never be different if I just fly into the window all day long. 

And with that, Lily came by a little less each day and after two weeks she was gone.  Once I learned what she was here to teach (cause obviously that was what she was doing and the empty nest we found a few days ago had nothing to do with it), she had less use for the window.  As I continued to make changes in my life, some big like acknowledging an unhealthy relationship in my life, some small like running to Lowe’s to buy a hose instead of constantly hating the hose that leaks and continuously coming in wet after watering the plants, Lily had less and less to show me and she moved on (or flew away and quietly died of a severe brain injury, I choose #1). 

Who knew that the crazy bird that I wanted to shoot would move me forward when I am stuck and would remind me that opportunities to learn are where we choose to find them.

 

Lily

(Seriously, I should pay myself some good money for this therapy.)

Back from Somewhere

As we near the end of April, I can finally feel myself reconnecting with myself.  Doing the yearbook for the school was HARD and STRESSFUL.  While it got done and I am soo excited about it, it was a lot of work.  After the book was submitted, I had to spend the next three weeks taking care of everything that I didn’t do while I was working on the yearbook.  I am just glad I came out alive, otherwise, I wouldn’t be here to warn people of the dramatic effects of natural shampoo.

In my mission to eliminate chemicals in my life, Angie and I decided to try some natural products, one of which was a natural shampoo.  I was a little hesitant from the beginning, but throwing caution into the wind, I went for it.  Apparently a natural shampoo is different than “regular” shampoo, because it is a soap rather than a detergent.  When you use the detergent shampoo, it strips your hair and then you have to use conditioner to cover up the damage from the shampoo.  With the natural shampoo you don’t use a conditioner but instead rinse with vinegar to balance the hair’s pH.  This sounds very complex, I know. 

I tried it first last Saturday.  The instructions state that it takes some getting used to and as the chemicals are removed from your hair your hair goes through a “detox” period.  They say it can take up to two weeks in which you may have more puffiness, static and oiliness.  They are not kidding.  My detox period was HIDEOUS.  I pulled my hair in two braids one day and my hair looked wet.  My sisters actually laughed at me periodically through the day.  Fresh from the shower, straight from the blow dryer, my hair looked like I hadn’t washed it in weeks.  It was awful.  I carried on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and gave up on Thursday. 

I know it was just hair, but I found myself feeling a little down, a little scruffy, a little not like myself.  I went to Owen’s baseball game with a hat on and found myself standing alone looking longingly at everyone’s chemically covered, beautiful, non-greasy hair, worn down without fear.  I woke up on Thursday and as I sat in bed feeling the greasiness that was once my hair, I just knew that I couldn’t possibly get up and do that horrible vinegar rinse one  more day.  I was throwing in the towel.  I got up and washed my hair with my shampoo from Trader Joe’s and picked up my conditioner bottle with glee.  My hair wasn’t quite the same as it once was but it wasn’t the hideous hair that I had seen for the last few days.   I had no regrets, after all, who can just have hair that people go around laughing at periodically through the day. 

I am on the search for a different, natural shampoo, one that doesn’t require a vinegar rinse.  I will report on my findings. 

As an aside, we got the shampoo from a company based out of Utah called Bubble and Bee.  I love the natural face wash, deodorant, facial moisturizer and body butter.  I totally recommend it, and if you need a shampoo to try, I know of a barely used bottle you could get for a good price!

My brain!!

The deadline has arrived. I have until Monday at 4:00 pacific time to submit the yearbook.

I have worked on the book almost non-stop during the last 48 hours and I am exhausted.

I have pictures of students swarming through my head, clip art of frogs taking over my thoughts, and borders and designs and colors clouding my vision.

I am resting now, recharging my creativity and preparing for the final countdown.

The end is near and that is as much of a blog post that I can muster.

Stolen phone

Don't you love going through you phone and finding this:

My kids are so weird

I nursed Owen until he was about 26 months. When he would want me to nurse he would come up and ask for "oh no". Apparently, at some point something happened where I said "oh no" when he wanted to nurse and he thought that is what it is called.

Ivy would walk up to me and hold up her finger and say one time. Apparently, I told her one last time one time too many.

Autumn, who doesn't talk much, pants and sings. When she first wants to nurse, she looks at me and starts panting. Then, she nurses on one side and stops, looks at me and sings a song. Ahhh Ahhh.
Ahhh. Ahhhh. We have appropriately titled it Other Side Song.

See, I told you they are weird.

Kid recess lady

I headed to Owen's school early today to take some morning pictures. Owen and I were walking across the parking lot and he noticed one of his fellow recess ladies walking in, to which he yelled out, "hello Ms. Jay!"

"Good morning Owen."

"Did you get a haircut?"

"Why yes, I did get a haircut Owen."

"It looks good, I can tell clear from over here."

We walked into the office and I signed in and as we headed back outside, along side the recess ladies, I noticed Owen speed up a tad and join his fellow friends. He walked in step with them and told them about his morning.

I suppose he really is a recess lady himself.

Freaking out a little

There are two reasons everyone looks forward to the last day of school. 1. Summer vacation and 2. YEARBOOKS.

I temporarily went insane at the beginning of the year and I responded to a help wanted flyer from the PTA. I volunteered to not only be on the yearbook committee, but head that committee.

I started out with 3 committee members and now I have 1. That 1 is leaving during the last two weeks before the submission deadline for Hawaii and Canada. I am not sure what happened to the other members other than one deserted her assigned task in the middle of it and the other hasn't responded to the last three emails.

The worst part, I prefer to be a committee of one. I am pretty sure I should go to therapy or something for rejoicing in the fact that my help left. What can I say, I like things my own way and with too many cooks in the kitchen, well it doesn't look like what is in my head.

My submission deadline is fast approaching on April 5. I don't mind being a yearbook team of 1 1/2 but if I start to think of the gravity of the situation, that I am basically in charge of creating MEMORIES for 600 plus people, I feel my chest tighten a tad. Let me say that again, MEMORIES FOR 600 plus people. One of the two reasons you look forward to last day of school will be made by me. I am creating a book people will save for years to come.

I am crazy for taking it on and crazy for wishing away my staff, and yet on a daily basis I think about who I should talk to in order to secure my job for next year and what I will do different.

My first order of business - figuring out how to avoid a committee from the beginning.

I know, I need therapy.