My little son LOVES to watch The Little Mermaid. We watched it for the first time a few weeks ago and now it is all he watches. He loves Sebastian the most. We bought the movie, we listen to the songs EVERYDAY, we travel around with Little Mermaid toys.
So, the other day, the day we bought the movie (which by the way we bought at Half Price Books for $14.99 – thanks Angie for the suggestion), he came home very excited to own his new favorite show. He was playing out back with his friends, the twin girls from next door and the little girl from across the street, and it didn’t take long before I heard this conversation:
Girl 1: Owen likes Ariel.
Owen: No, I like Sebastian.
Girl 1: No, I mean Owen likes the movie, Ariel.
Owen: I do like that movie.
Girls (all): HA HA HA, Owen likes the movie Little Mermaid. HA HA HA.
And then, I had no choice. I found myself at the door joining in the conversation:
Mean Crazy Mom (yelling from the back door): Why is that funny?
Girls: (Silent)
Mean Crazy Mom: Why is that funny? I don’t understand.
Girl 1: We don’t know what you mean, but it is a girl movie.
Mean Crazy Mom: Why is it a girl movie? What makes it a girl movie?
Girls: (Silent)
Owen: (Slight smirk on his face)
Mean Crazy Mom: What makes it a girl movie?
Girl 1: It is hard to explain.
Mean Crazy Mom: Try.
Girls: We don’t know.
Mean Crazy Mom: Well, if you don’t even know why it is a “girl” movie, then maybe you should stop making fun of Owen, because I don’t know any reason that he can’t like it and I can’t see what would make it a girl show.
Overall Conversation: Done
Laughing: Gone
Owen ran over and gave me a kiss and ran back to play and that was the end.
It is just so sad, the whole story on so many levels. I hate that there is a distinction between boy things and girl things and the expectations to fit into your role. I hate that expected role playing starts at 5 (or even earlier). It breaks my heart to see his face question something he loves because someone told him not to love it.
I am not sure if I made the right decision by stepping in. If I step in and say something, I am not teaching him to stick up for himself but then again, he was outnumbered and seemed at a loss of what to do. He looked so proud when I was talking to the girls and did announce before they left that day that The Little Mermaid was his favorite movie of all movies. We also talked later about not making fun of people for something they like and to help those that are getting picked on by other people.
I don’t know what the answers are here. I don’t know how to teach the kids to stick up for what they believe in and love while maintaining that important feeling of fitting in.
I suppose, for now, I only know that he still LOVES The Little Mermaid, that all the girls still played with him that day and have been back each day since, and they haven’t mentioned it as a “girl” show anymore. I’ll take my happy ending for as long as it will last.
4 comments:
Go Momma Bear! Someday he may not want you defending his choices, there's no harm in doing so while you still can.
There's just something about seeing your children in any pain that breaks a Mom's heart. It sounds as if you gave the girls something to think about, too!
Your story reminded me of going everywhere with my 4 year old son and his Ariel doll. He loved the movie, but he loved Ariel the most. That was fine with us, but whoa be it to anyone who teased him! Turns out I am 93% Momma Bear and I don't like to be teased. My kids are teenagers now, and need my defending less, but I love that they know, without a doubt, that I will run to their aide, be it unfair treatment by teachers or a friend being rude in our home.
Those girls need a can of whoop-ass anyway. It was past time.
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