What a conflicting question I ask myself. Should Owen take a nap or not. Heaven knows he NEEDS the nap, and most days he wants the nap, but bedtime at 8:00 after 2 books and no fighting about going to sleep is very tempting. While I may have had what feels like endless amounts of time to complete the many things that did not get done today, that isn't to say I didn't pay for the no nap this afternoon. I think he hit me 5 or so times, I can't count how many times he whined for something and he mentioned a lot today that he was getting kinda tired. Poor little thing. I know the nap makes us like each other more, but oh how nice it is to have a sleeping child early in the night. It is probably only a matter of time before he doesn't take a nap and still won't go to bed!!
We are gearing up for our trip back to Utah. We all leave on Wednesday and will be there until Sunday. (We all = me, Greg, Owen, Angie, Steve and Ben). We are heading back for our step-sister's wedding. We keep telling Owen who he is going to see. Some he remembers, some he says he doesn't know. We haven't been back since September (and Greg hasn't been back since Christmas, 2006) so he is probably right that he doesn't know some of them. We are very excited to be able to attend Grandma Lori's annual Easter egg hunt. I tried explaining it to Owen and you could tell he was so confused why we would look for eggs outside.
I learned in school this week that time-outs aren't the best idea. I want to write more about what I learned, but I am having great conflict with this so far. I need to ask some questions next class and then I will write about it. I am just not sure what the alternative is. I always thought they were working with Owen, but then I realized that before Thursday he had been on his "stool" (we have a tall stool he sits on) for hitting me about 10 times. If the time-out were working I am not sure we would keep going back there. I am at a loss, as after Thursday I tried really hard not to put him on the stool and he seemed to enjoy this new chance to hit me and then not have to go to the stool. I tried ignoring him, he hit me again, I tried explaining that I was sad when he hit me, he said he was sorry for making mommy feel bad and then hit me about 10 minutes later, I tried telling him to go play in his room away from me if he was going to hit, he just said no (and probably hit me again), I even tried putting him back on the stool today, he hit me when he got down. Actually, when he said he was sorry, he really said, "sorry mommy O not see that". I tried to explain that he most certainly saw my arm sitting there, but he was insistent. He also said "sorry mommy O not mean to". I again tried to explain the concept of an accident and purposely hitting someone but he was just sure he didn't mean to. (He LOVES these two sayings. He says them all the time with respect to anything). Clearly we have an issue here. Maybe it isn't the consequence of the hitting I should be concerned about but why he is hitting in the first place. My class teaches that kids act out and misbehave when they are trying to get a need met. I obviously need some more clarity and perhaps a little more patience on this one. I will seek out some answers and share as I can.
Tonight Felix sneezed and Owen looked at her and said "Bless you". Then he went about with what he was doing. Hilarious! His new favorite word is also and he thinks he is pretty neat for using it. He still LOVES to sing. His new song of the week is Are you Sleeping. It is very rare to go 10 minutes without him singing a song. Tonight he was reading a book with Greg that had a sheep in it, he started singing Mary had a Little Sheep. Clever. He has also made up some ridiculous answer for things, here is a typical conversation..."Mommy watch". "Why did you just hit T.J." (he never really hits me or anything, he just swings him arm in the air as though he were hitting). "Because daddy say yes every time"...a few minutes later... "mommy, o hit daddy". "Why did you hit daddy?" "Because Grandpa say yes every time"... another day, "Owen why did you just throw your bear, that wasn't very nice". "Because Kiki say yes every time". This is ALL DAY.
We are going to the reptile zoo with his school tomorrow morning, he said he is so excited!
5 comments:
I am anxious to find out what the alternative to time-outs is. I have always felt that time-out doesn't work well (at least not with my kids). I still send them to their room if they really get out of hand but what do you do instead? Thanks for sharing.
Hitting is a problem that we all go through with our kids. I always thought my kids were tired when they got my attention by hitting. Maybe suggesting that Owen needs a nap when he hits would help - it is still a form of time out though. David and Liz are going through the scratching thing with Aubrie. They are afraid to take her anywhere around children because she scratches them. They will both grow out of it, but it is hard in the meantime.
Bryan and I havebeen trying a new form of discipline with our boys. It was a book I got with my new baby stuff from the hospital. It says you don't explain anything to kids when they do something wrong, most times they know they are doing wrong Instead you calmly say that's 1, if they keep doing it, then you say that is 2, if they keep doing it then you say take 5. They go somewhere designated in the house (or if you are out in the car). It isn't a time out, just time away from each other-like the boys go to their rooms, they can play in their and do what they want. But the most important part is they are not getting a reaction from you (which is why they are acting out in the first place). After a couple of minutes they come out and are fine. It has gotten to the point where Bryan and I say that is 1, and they usually just stop the bad behavior because they know they aren't getting what they want from you. For things like hitting me though I just say take 5 right away, then they know that it a big no no, and they get no chances to fix the preblem. It has been working great at restoring the peace in our house between a hormonal mom and wild kids!! The book is called 123 magic if anyone is interested.
That book sounds a lot like what we learn in our class. They say that as kids get older they should be able to choose something to do to cool off so to speak. They say that adults don't just sit on the bed and think about what they did, but they read or walk or draw. My class says that kids should be able to do the same thing. We will have to try that!! Thanks for sharing!
About naps, I say enjoy them for as long as they last. Melody stopped taking naps about 7 or 8 months ago and boy do I miss them. It is nice that when the twins take thier naps I get one on one time with Melody, she and I need it. Sometimes she plays so hard that at about 6 or 7 at night she will just lay down and fall asleep. This is a bad thing because then I know it is going to be a long night.
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