Lee Lee & Ivy

Ivy told me today that her friend Lee Lee was here to play. She was going to stay inside to ride Ivy's scooter while Ivy was outside, then they were both going to the store with Greg.

I have never met Lee Lee before. Ivy talks about her a lot but today was the first time she came to play.

They left to go to the store together. Ivy buckled her in and then Lee Lee decided to sit on Ivy's lap.

She doesn't have any real friends and there is a part of me that feels so sad, and yet, another part of me that thinks that even if she had some, she wouldn't know what to do with them.

She loves her little world, the one that is safe. She plays endlessly with her brother, she takes care of Autumn, she pretends, she imagines, she shares all my food and makes sure we always share the last bite, she worries tirelessly and has a heart so big.

That girl is wise beyond her years.

Outside her world is hard. She doesn't know how to play, she doesn't relate to little kids, she has social anxiety, she is constantly afraid a dog will be around every corner, she always trying to learn something new, and puts an incredible amount of pressure on herself. All of this and she is only three.

The last remaining anxiety at school was on the playground. I saw her standing there one day and realized how uncomfortable she was during the run and frolic time. I casually mentioned one day that Owen used to look for rocks outside and for four weeks now I have picked up a smiley happy girl with pockets of treasures. She has a purpose, something to do other than run and frolic and be carefree.

I see myself in her and I wish I could set her little soul free to have fun, to run and play with little kids and really just have permission to be three.

I don't know if she will ever truly play and frolic, but I will do what I can to suggest activities to make her a little more comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. I will also welcome Lee Lee, and the friends before and after her, into our house to give Ivy the chance to play with her friends, the ones that are safe and let her be her kind of 3.