About a month ago or so, someone from the church that we would go to if we went to church brought by a baby blanket for us. We started talking and she mentioned that she had three boys, ages 8 ,6, and 4. I explained how Owen only had girl friends and that it may be fun to get together sometime for them to play.
Then a few weeks later or so, she stopped by one night with cookies and brought her boys and her husband. The boys and Ivy played great together and Greg and I had a nice time visiting.
Then on Tuesday we went over to their house for an afternoon play date. We had fun. The kids played great again and I had a nice time visiting again.
Then on that same Tuesday it most likely became our last play date there. After a few hours it was time to go. I asked Owen to please clean up all the cars that they had been playing with and take them back upstairs. He agreed fairly easily and loaded up his hands with cars. After taking them upstairs, he came down with his hands in his coat pockets and said he was done and we could go. After taking one look at him, I asked without question what he was doing. He not so calmly replied nothing and said he was done helping. Knowing my son so well, I responded with a statement sort of like, ok, well make good choices so we can come back and left it at that. He marched outside and one of the boys followed. I continued to get ready to leave and help Ivy put on her coat and it was then that Owen came back inside and said to my dismay: “At least I gave it back.” Shocked, I replied, “WHAT!”, to which he again said, “at least I gave it back.”. And it was then that the little boy showed me his sheriff car from Cars the Movie (which he informed me he loved earlier in the play date). I looked at the mom unable to really know what to say or do and then she said, “at least he was honest” and I said, “except that he still tried to steal your toy and it still made its way into his pocket” and then I just said, “well goodbye” (cause what else can you say in that situation to some people that come from your church that you have seen twice in your life).
Then we discussed the incident. I let him know that this could perhaps be our last time to play with his new friends, we discussed how he would feel if people came to his house and stole his toys, we talked about what happens when you steal when you are older, we discussed his feelings after someone stole my ipod, and we discussed that he probably doesn’t want to be known as the kid who steals other people’s toys or he will have a short list of invites over to their houses.
So, to focus on the “at least giving it back” part rather than the making it into his pocket part, I told him that we could try to be friends with them, but that he had to write a sorry letter to them and deliver it to them himself. And he did:
(Dear Sam Tyler and Caleb, I am really really sorry for almost stealing your toy. From Owen Leigh. I won’t do it again. I hope we can play again soon.)
He came back to the car and was happy to report that they forgave him and they said they would still be his friend.
Before we left we had a big discussion about leaving. I asked him to please get ready to leave when I asked him to. He said he would, and surprisingly he did. I had no idea that we had to have a discussion about not stealing our friend’s toys.
He seemed to understand this was bad, he swears he will never do it again, but just in case, if you invite us over, beware.
And yet again, here is the post-edit of this post. I could not find any stats on my blog for Autumn at 1 month (they are now added to the end of a post) and for her at 2 months. So, as I said before, for the future:
Height: 22.3 inches: 45%
Weight: 10 lbs 5 oz: 34%
Head: 39 cm: 55%
2 comments:
Oh, how history repeats itself! Only once did Greg do this. He went to a pre-school in Iowa. He slipped one of the little toy cars into his pocket, which I only found when I was putting his pants in the wash. We had that same discussion about taking things that don't belong to you and I told him he had to take it back and tell his teacher he was sorry -which he did with some tears! As far as I know, that was the ONLY time we ever had to do that!...thank goodness. And by the way, I had the same experience when I was little - a tiny little doll made it's way into my pocket when my dad told me I couldn't buy it. When he found it (and parents almost always do), I had to take it back and tell the drugstore owner that I was sorry! That was my brief stint with thievery. It is so common and almost all parents have to deal with it. Gads, I love that note and I love Owen more!
It sure is hard to learn the lessons of life, but you did a beautiful job in this "teaching moment". Owen looked so sweet, standing at the door, ready to "own up". He is such an engaging, fun boy!
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