Saturday, November 11, 2017

The Forgotten

A title like that could be about so many things.

It could be about the forgotten house... the dust, the 570 yearbooks waiting to go out, the stuff everywhere, the piles brought in from the car.  Forgotten house.

It could be about my work.... messages piled up too high, things on the to-do list waiting too long to be done, the books that need updating and work.  Forgotten work.

It could be about the kitchen.... we have no kitchen.... carry on.

It could be about the master bathroom... we have no master bathroom..... carry on.

Nope, it is about Autumn.  She is the forgotten.

I was helping out at the kids' school the other day to distribute fundraiser cookie dough and other amazing items....

(And that is where the post ended.  I found this draft of a blog entry I started in April, 2016.  It is now November, 2017 and the blog post joined the ranks of everything else that has been forgotten)

It won't be told the same way it would have been in 2016, but at least the story won't be entirely forgotten....

I was helping out at the school to distribute fundraiser items.  People were picking up big boxes of items and I was feeling extra helpful as I moved the stuff outside on a dolly.  When I would volunteer at school before she went to kindergarten, Autumn was always at my feet following me around.

I am never anywhere completely in my head.  If I do that, someone is bound to be left behind.  I feel like that part in One Fine Day when Michelle Pfeiffer says that she has all these balls in the air that she is juggling and if she lets go of anything, they will all come crashing down.  Well, for whatever
reason, I was totally involved with this task and had the familiar feeling that Autumn is always a part of what I did, and then all the balls came crashing down.

I was walking out to the parking lot and checked back in with my life.  I thought of Autumn and then I completely panicked, where was Autumn? Oh yes, at school.  Wait, what time is it? Where is her school?  Where am I?  Who am I?  Where are my other kids?  3:15.  School gets out at 3:10.  I 100% forgot her.  I still had to dolly the boxes out to the parent's car all the while panicking as she sat at school waiting for me.  I ran back in, grabbed my purse, announced I left her at school and raced out to my car.

I flew in the school like a tornado and there she was, calmly reading a book with the director.  The last one to be picked up.  She wasn't worried... which I still wonder if that is a good thing.  I want to raise a confident child, but am I always that late?  Yes.  Yes I am.

So, there it is, the day I actually left her there.  Now I am careful not to completely give anything 100% so we all end up at home at night.

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