Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Monday, November 21, 2011

Farewell Little Friend

It has been 8 weeks and it is time to admit it…T.J. (my cat) is gone.  16 years together and it didn’t end the way I wanted it to. 

T.J. became an outside cat a year or so ago after living his whole life inside.  There is only so much one person can take and cleaning up after kids all day left nothing for the cat.  I couldn’t do the laundry anymore and have litter stuck to my feet.  He had to go outside.  For a year or more, probably closer to two, he lived in the garage.  He would go out in the morning and would come home at night, until a few days before the baby was born.  She was born on a Thursday.  The last time we saw him was Tuesday.  He left in the morning and never came home that night. 

I always envisioned his death would be sad – after all, until I had Owen, for 10 years he was my baby.  He slept with me EVERY night (not just on the bed, but snuggled up to me as close as he could get).  He was a little more like a dog than a cat.  He would come when I called him, he loved to play, and he let me know when he wanted something.  He was everything to me; but as much as I swore it wouldn’t happen, having kids put him lower on the list.  (well having kids and the fact that he peed on the outside of his box as much as he did on the inside and that is enough to drive a person insane)

He drove me nuts but I still loved him.  He was getting old and especially went downhill after his cat died last year.  He was deaf and his kidneys were starting to fail, in fact, I took him to the vet for a check-up the week before he disappeared.  He would often be found wandering around outside with no destination and no where to go.  I had thought about putting him down to make sure nothing bad happened.

But I didn’t get to say good-bye and I didn’t get to decide to put him down and make sure he was safe.  As much as he drove me crazy, I wanted to make sure he was safe.  Now, I will always wonder.  I dream he comes back all the time and I still look for him when I drive down the street.  I just wanted things to end a little differently.  I miss him and wish I could have said good-bye.  If I could have, it would have been something like this:

Dear T.J.,

When I got you for Christmas 16 years ago, I was so happy.  You were so little and so full of life.  You loved to play and cuddle and I loved you so much.  Everyone that met you loved you and thought you were the cutest cat.  You were always up to something and caused me my fair share of bills, like the eye infections you had for the first year of your life (I really think you were allergic to those other two cats we lived with), or the time you fell into a pot of boiling water, or the time we woke up and you had a puncture wound on your chin (the vet probably still believes you got in a fight with an animal, still not sure how that animal would have broken into the apartment).  I loved taking you places in the car like a dog and I loved that you would meow at me the minute I walked in the door and wait for me to pick you up to say hello. I am still not sure why you always hated little kids (and would bite them any chance you got) or why you hated your back to be pet. 

Before you go, I want to tell you I am sorry.  I am sorry that I had to close you out of the room after Owen was born.  I am sorry that I had to move you to the garage to live.  I am sorry that you probably felt that I didn’t love you anymore.  I did love you.  I still love you.  You will always have a special place in my heart. 

I am sorry that I didn’t get to take care of you at the end.  I hope you didn’t suffer.  I hope you weren’t scared.  I hope you weren’t looking for me and wondering where I was.  I would have come if I could have.  I hope you know that. 

I h0pe you are in a better place and can jump and play again.  You were my little pal I will forever love you.

me.

We are Warm

It is cold outside, but never fear, we are warm.  We have a new furnace. 

My bids came in bright and early the next day after our troubles began.  We opted for a furnace and the heat pump.  I couldn’t resist.  I did learn that it was quite a bit more money than I originally thought, but no matter, I am not sure I have a limit when it comes to my comfort.  I may never turn the air on in the summer, but I am a fan of having the ability to do so if I want to. 

So, welcome heat pump, bring on the summer months and thank you new furnace for doing such a wonderful job and not leaking gas into my house. 

(oh and as a side, thank you water meter outside for breaking at the city’s expense and giving me a month of free water.)

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Good, the Bad and the Good Again

First the Good:

This smiling baby who turned 6 weeks old today. 

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She has been smiling since about 4 weeks.  I was holding her today and getting ready to take Owen to school.  Each time I looked down at her I found her smiling at me.  There is something so sweet about a baby smiling. 

She still loves to be held a lot and has permanently made her way into the bed to sleep with me (although, that didn’t take much work or convincing on her part).  Owen says he is glad she is a girl cause girls are cuter than boys.  Ivy still doesn’t understand personal space and thinks kisses on the baby’s head with her binky in are still super special.  We switched to Tide Free and Clear and her bumpy rash on her body has started to go away.  Life with her is good.   

Happy 6 weeks teeny one.

Now the Bad: (which has nothing to do with the good, I just wanted to remember the good when thinking about the stress of the bad)

I was working the other day and kept smelling a gas smell at my desk coming through the vent.  Greg couldn’t smell it (not that I was surprised).  I have been waiting for the furnace to have a problem and was concerned that the smell was coming through the vent from the garage.  Time for a service call.  We knew the furnace was on its last legs.  It was the one thing that was not new or replaced with the house when the previous owners remodeled the entire place.  It was only a matter of time. 

Well, the guy came out today while I was at work and apparently it was time.  Through a series of text messages with Kristi I was informed the heater was NO longer.  Shut off.  In fact, the diagnostic notes include a statement that says: Furnace is Dangerous.  Lovely.  We have been living in the house with a DANGEROUS furnace.  Tonight we have no heat. (I would gladly have no heat than a dangerous furnace.)  I am waiting for an email tomorrow containing a bid as to the replacement cost of the new furnace.  So tonight, we are dressed in sweatshirts, heaters are going and we have a fire (thank heavens the fire didn’t mean the end of all of us with gas in the house).  Hopefully the new furnace will be up and functional by tomorrow.

Which leads me to the good again: (which is actually the good and the bad again)

We have wanted air conditioning for some time now.  I hate to be hot and not be able to do anything about it.  Not a lot of people have air conditioning around here, but who cares what other people do, I hate to be hot.  We have talked about that time when we replace the furnace, to add a heat pump, which saves on gas costs during the winter and then functions as an air conditioner during the summer.  Well, that time has come, and we have to decide.  A furnace alone is around $2000 while the heat pump makes it about $5,000.  Merry Christmas to me? So the good – I may have the air conditioning I have always dreamed about.  The bad – I really didn’t want to spend $5,000 right now (but then again, is there a price tag on comfort when you HATE to be hot – probably not).   So tomorrow we decide, but I think I already know the answer and I am so excited.

So, tonight I will forget the price, forget about the freezing night we may have because how can you care about any of that when you have this:

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and I will throw in these guys for extra help in not caring.

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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

1 Month & Only a Lunch

Owen goes to school full day on Mondays and Fridays.  On those two days I have to pack him a lunch.  He is so picky that his lunch is usually pretty boring and is often the same thing every time.  I was packing the same peanut butter sandwich, container of goldfish and a granola bar on Friday when Owen looked at me and said, “Can I have a note?”
And then it went like this:
“Yes, I can write you a note.”
“Everyone always has a note, Gavin, Austin, (and named about four other kids), everyone but me.”
“Well, that is terrible! I didn’t know you could read the note so I didn’t put one in”
“My teacher helps us read it.  Mom, everyone has a note and all I have is a lunch.”
My poor son without a note, he had to ask for a note. 
I am awesome. 

This is a post-edit blog.  I went to find out how much Autumn weighed at 1 month only to discover that I NEVER posted it.  I cannot let her be the "third", the one with nothing recorded and no pictures.  That being said, for the future:

Height: 21 inches = 44%
Weight: 8 lbs 10 oz = 30%
Head: 37 1/2 cm = 60%